probably my first all-nighter of the year and why is it being spent at the gateway? paul baribeau came on and it made me sad and it made me want to be across the street singing my heart out for exactly 43 minutes with very good people. but, alas, I'm not sure that will happen much anymore. it's not all my fault, but he won't admit that he's at all to blame. I need to give it time but I'm so impatient. hearing "the rolling clouds" felt kind of like a breakthrough even though it is about nothing like what I am dealing with. I just realized that I don't want to give up on this friend.
also, my eating has gotten more normal again. meaning, I sat around my apartment pretty much just eating the entire day. life rules. or, it's getting better. I had a very long discussion about gender rolls, sexuality, and a certain boy with s.miller and it felt good to talk about it. I feel more justified in being upset and ready to move on and make a friendship from this.
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